Snow Day!!!

As a young Chad, nothing made me happier than a snow day at school. Looking back, I'm not sure what was so great about it other than sleeping in. All I can recall is watching reruns of Happy Days, infomercials, and several shady looking characters got me pondering an education from DeVry. Still, I really hated school so it was a nice time waste.

This past Wednesday I learned that snow days are just as popular in my book as they've ever been. I woke up Wednesday morning with thoughts of playing hooky. I was extra relaxed but sticky from 10 hours of sleep and a nocturnal emission. I was really excited about this since I had only managed a couple of hours of sleep the night before due to a nightmare. I sometimes have nightmares about a device created by my neighbor when I was 11 years old. His name was Jeremy and he was a lot of fun to hang out with except for his weapon of choice, the "thingy." The Thingy was a snorkel that was wrapped in electrical tape on one end. Anytime you would ignore your backside and leave your anus unprotected, Jeremy would make an attempt to painfully check your oil with the Thingy. Actually, I think the Thingy may deserve it's own blog entry and I'd rather not talk about it.

I turned on the news to peruse all of the day's closings due to icy roads. I held my breath after Lamar High School, but then up popped Nimitz High School. What the hell? Where was Medical Contracting? At this point, I realized I must begin my journey to Dallas through the frozen tundra of highway 183 and my dream of a snow day was shattered.

Around 10 am I slid into my office parking lot like Rudy in a 280 Z. My close friend and soul mate, Jason Dangles, arrived at the same time. At first I thought he was being extra careful in the ice as he took baby steps towards the door. I then realized that Dangles was walking with a limp. He looked sort of like Dr. Gregory House minus the charm. I was concerned that this was an old water polo injury that was flaring up and he would finally be forced to get those ass cheek implants he's been talking about. Luckily he had just pulled a muscle the night before while performing his weekly kegal exercises.

Once I got to my office I stared at my computer for an hour thinking of all the children having fun building anatomically correct snowmen in their front yards. Instead, I had to put off the appearance of an adult and pretend to be motivated by financial gain and professional advancement. So what's my point here? Well, I don't really know. But I know I like snow days and I hate working on snow days. Oh, and despite an Oscar worthy performance by Chris Elliot, I hate the movie Snow Day.